Artist’s Journal | What is balance?
“If you claim ‘balance in life’ is your highest priority, but you’re not willing to give anything up, I’m not sure I can help you,” said the face behind the Zoom-vortex.
An acquaintance is practicing to be a life coach; I’m her practice dummy, and this statement happened in the first five minutes of a 90-minute meeting. I had already been on video meetings for over five-hours by the time she said this, and I was not amused, but there is space between emotion and reaction; it’s a space I frequently use. I’ll talk about this space more in the coming weeks, but in this instance, I used this space and found the strength to say, “maybe you should ask what balance in life means to me.”
“Okay, what does ‘balance’ mean to you?”
I hesitated.
“I don’t know. Isn’t that what we’re here to find out?”
I smiled gently.
I imagine, at this point, she wished she wouldn’t have picked me as a practice dummy. I imagine someone else might have explained ‘balance’ as the number of hours or percentage of time to exercise, laugh, relax, or enjoy.
I started to wonder if she was right, if I couldn’t be helped. I started to wonder if the only choice was to give something up to make time for ‘balance.’
She asked me about times I was happy, and I started to wonder if the scales of balance might still function even if they were (or are) impossible to measure. Our conversation weaved anecdotes, philosophy, dreams, and memories:
When the floats of a plane first separate from the water if feels like time is suspended. For a moment, the friction of water ceases, and the rush of the lift hasn’t yet begun. It often goes unnoticed like the space between inhalation and exhalation, but that moment, in the cockpit of a seaplane, is why I continue to fly.
What if balance isn’t about time at all?
What if balance means:
Finding inner peace and calm,
Honoring radical curiosity and following it,
Making peace with grief and joy as an ongoing process, and
Creating opportunities for wonder.
Love, Nic, xo